I was shopping at Target today with my wife. I was slowly making my way down the aisle, and then rounded the end of the aisle and ran right into a Middle Eastern woman with so much covering all I could see was her eyes. I screamed like a sissy girl because I thought I was about to be robbed by the reverse Zorro.

Let me tell you one way NOT to dress when going shopping at Target...khaki pants and a red polo. I was in the electronics section looking at cameras and an older woman came up to me and asked if I knew where the batteries were at and I said, " Uh, yeah........ I think they are over there," and pointed. Not until three or four other people asked me questions did I realize they all thought I was an employee.

If you ever want to see the ugliest face a woman can possibly make, tell them they have a stain on the chest of their shirt. Then they look down and give you that super attractive triple chin look, with their eyes about to pop out of their sockets. Man thats hot.